Dream Job

About a month ago I finally got a "dream job," one that I have been working towards for years.  I am now an officially paid "Anti-Trafficking Ministries Coordinator."  I even have my own desk, a business e-mail, and half an office.  I'm dong what I love and am passionate about, and best of all, I can finally get paid for what I've been spending most of my time doing anyway.

BUT..... This job is super hard!  The problem of human trafficking is huge.  Systems to fight it or to help victims get their lives back are few and far between.  The dimensions of this issue are SO MANY!  I have so much to learn.  My job means I need to basically be a social worker, an advocate, a politician, a development agent, a grant writer, a program facilitator, a program creator, a volunteer recruiter, a trainer, an educator, a host, a craft teacher, a friend, a fundraiser, a public relations representative, an outreach worker, a team builder, an organizer, a counselor, a social media expert, etc. etc. etc.  I never know what this job is going to throw at me, and I feel completely unqualified and unprepared.  I feel like I should go to school for fifty more years or something.  And then I still wouldn't feel equipped to do this.  Pretty much every morning I wake up feeling like I have some huge life-determining exam and I've completely forgotten to prepare at all.

I've been feeling like this a lot recently.  And then this morning, I was working on my assignment for this online spiritual formation class I've been taking.  The current class is about social justice.  One of the other students had written about how it's difficult for her to get involved with social justice issues, because it seems like everyone in social justice groups has a masters or a doctorate.  I immediately wrote this back to her:

I work in social justice areas, and although I have a college degree, I don't have a masters or a PhD.  I'm only 24 and I look much younger.  I'm not an officer, and I lack a lot of the life experience that those I work with have.  But God who has called me has also equipped me to be able to speak out and question systems of injustice alongside those who are more educated and experienced.  He will equip you too.  Paul tells Timothy not to let anyone look down on him because of his age, but I think this could also be applied to education as well.  If you are seeking God's truth and compassion, he will give you words to say.

Obviously, it's okay that I'm ill-equipped and unprepared for this job.  This is where God has called me.  He will continue to lead me and give me strength and wisdom.  I don't need to worry that I'm not good enough, because I'm not doing this out of my strength.  I'm doing this out of God's strength.  It even makes sense that I'm not prepared, because God uses the foolish and weak things of this world to shame the wise and the strong.

For even more encouragement, I happened to read these verses in Proverbs this morning.  These are from my "Sunrise Good News Bible" which is full of beautiful line drawings and is meant to be easy to translate into other languages and cultures, but consequently has a much different translation than most English Bibles:

Proverbs 1:2-6   

² Here are proverbs that will help you recognize wisdom and good advice, and understand sayings with deep meaning. ³ They can teach you how to live intelligently and how to be honest, just, and fair. ⁴ They can make an inexperienced person clever and teach young people how to be resourceful. ⁵ These proverbs can even add to the knowledge of the wise and give guidance to the educated, ⁶ so that they can understand   the hidden meanings of proverbs and the problems that the wise raise. 

Even if I am feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, I can turn to Proverbs and the rest of the Bible too for "wisdom and good advice."  It can "make an inexperienced person clever" and "add knowledge to the wise and give guidance to the educated."  I don't need to worry about not knowing what I'm doing.  God will provide knowledge and wisdom for me.

 
So, in God's strength, I'm off on a new adventure!

 

Intro to S.A Love

     Well, as you may have ascertained, my name is Seth Andrew Love.  I go by many different common names such as Dr. Love, Hard Tack, Click, and Loche (in reference to an invasive fish species common in Central New York).  I'm proud to call myself a member of New York State's North Country community and have been living up here since May 2012.  More specifically, I hail from Jefferson County and live along the Chaumont River.  Because of this, I sometimes forget whether I'm an American or Canadian (if you tap my arm I'm sure you'll get some maple sap).  Please understand that while I may be proud of my geographical location, I am not entirely proud of the socio-philosophical tendencies of the area (I dream of a day when I can put on an abbot's tunic and nail my 99 theses to the door of the Depauville Inn and Bar, bringing about a great reformation of learning!).  While that last part may be a slight exaggeration, I do hope for a day when rural America develops a craving for knowledge and objective truth. 

     I have a wonderful job as a seasonal Fish and Wildlife Technician with NYS Department of Environmental Conservation.  Technically, I am the brook trout seasonal technician so a portion of my job duties involve monitoring Adirondack Park waters (both roadside and remote) with gill nets and a YSI meter.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Adirondack Park, it has a unique and controversial history which has given me much to ponder in regards to wilderness, governance, and ethics.  It also happens to be the largest state park in the lower 48 states (over 3 million acres).

                                          
                                             (Heritage Strain Brook Trout Egg Take)



                                    
                                         (Processing Brook Trout at Evergreen Lake)


    I wouldn't be an honorable member of the North Country if a few of my hobbies weren't outdoor related.  However, I also enjoy reading, smoking my corn cob pipe, and sipping Johnnie Walker when I need to get back to my Celtic roots.  When one lives on the river, it only makes sense to be in possession of some sort of watercraft.  Even though I may be a government employee, I haven't saved up enough for my yacht, RV Moby Dick (oh yes, my yacht will be a research vessel as well as a pleasure boat).  In the meantime, I'm borrowing a canoe from a co-worker so I can enjoy the Chaumont.  On top of that, I finally invested in a used five/six-weight fly rod.  Needless to say I'm pretty excited to get the hang of fly-fishing. 


                                

                                    (View from the trail up to the high peak Algonquin)

     Even though I was not an official member of Tribe until Anya and Andrew's wedding last summer, I had regularly been surrounded by Tribal events and gatherings during my time at Houghton.  One regret from college is not being more involved with Tribe.  Granted, I was trying to survive chemistry and genetics (which have not been useful in my career).  Sure, it is a justified excuse.  However, I still regret missing the many opportunities to be a formal part of this community.  I was pretty excited when Jenny invited me to join Tribe after she smeared cupcake on my face and got my suit dirty.  What an initiation!

     I've recently been thinking about how my life has changed since I've graduated from Houghton.  When I moved to Jefferson County, I never believed I would be here this long.  I had dreams and visions of moving south and starting a sustainable, beyond-organic farm.  But after what seems like a twinkle of an eye, I am still here.  Maybe life is like a river.  While the water in the river is always recycling, the river remains more-or-less the same.    If a river were a sentient being, I doubt it would be able to notice every single water molecule exiting its boundary.  Maybe the same applies to our perception of time as we age?  Life is  no longer measured by days or weeks, but rather by joyful and sorrowful events that happen over the years (such as marriages and deaths).  Thankfully, we share a covenant with a God who doesn't change over time.




                               
                                       (Unhappy Lake Sturgeon from Lake Ontario)

     I enjoy talking, writing, and learning about many topics ranging from ecology, ethics, political theory, and theology.  So, ye best be ready!

Well, this post has become quite introspective for an “introduction.”  Hopefully it lends itself to some thoughtful pondering. 

Until next time,

S.A. Love

Holy Transition!

Awwww, snizzle snap, a play on words!!

Okay I’ll stop now.

                                    

The remainder of this week and the beginning of next week holds some of the biggest days of my life.

On Sunday morning (June 8, 2014), I will be ordained as a minister in The Salvation Army, receiving the rank of Lieutenant. On Sunday afternoon, I will be receiving my first appointment, with my best friend by my side …and an estimated 3,000 people in the audience. Yes, you read that correctly. I’ll be finding out where my new home and new church is at the same time the rest of the territory finds out.

                Then just 3 days later, on a cool Wednesday afternoon, I will be leaving my family name behind as I am joined as one with my best friend.

 (Lieutenant) Mrs. Katie Eisley will be my new norm. I’ll no longer be able to sleep like a starfish and I’ll have to start being considerate when getting ready in the morning (i.e. – not taking forever in the bathroom when doing my hair and makeup). 

 WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Wait a second.

What happened to this?   

And this??

And this?!

Actually, we can forget about that one...

But what happened? I know moms and dads say it all the time, but I legitimately want to know; where did the time go? Living a life of being a kid is all I’ve ever known. I’ve always lived life as a… “dependent”, if you want to put it in terms of health insurance or taxes.

Very shortly, I’m leaving the life that I know – the one I’ve always known – and starting over with a completely different role. While I’ll always be a daughter - someone’s kid – I’m leaving that childhood and semi-adulthood behind and, literally in the blink of an eye, am becoming an adult. In just a matter of days, I’ll be a leader of a church. I’ll have a congregation and community. It won’t fall under my parent’s authority and leadership, with me just along for the ride. But it’ll be mine and my then husband’s responsibility; a responsibility that is never taken lightly.  I’ll have all the keys to the building. I’ll be doing the home visitations. I’ll be preaching the sermons. I’ll be the one who has to take phone calls. I’ll be the one that will answer to those who oppose us and be there for those who are searching and have questions. Not my parents. Not my pastors. Me.

Thankfully I won’t be by myself for all of this and I’ll be able to share the work. I’ll go to my appointment with my husband. HUSBAND.

 

I never EVER thought I’d ever be married. I always wanted to be married but I just never thought of it as a reality. (It comes from years of insecurities and is a story for another day). 

While I’m incredibly excited and I wish it would just happen already, there are realizations that I’ve had that I can’t wrap my mind around:

1)      My kids will never know me as Kfurmz. They’ll never know what it means or all that it entails.

2)      I can’t listen to rap while I get ready in the morning.

a.       Heck, I’ll barely get to listen to rap at all! Jeremiah’s more of an NPR kinda guy.

3)      Judgment for how I drink milk will happen again. (Maya).

4)      I can’t eat just cereal and sandwiches. Because I’ll be caring for another person.

5)      The amount of laundry will double.

These are all small, petty things that I’ll learn to deal with, as sacrifice and new things come about in marriage. But… even the sentence “I, Katie Furman, will be married in just a few days” is so surreal.

And while these two big events are happening so soon and right after one another, fear and doubt fill my mind and heart and I easily become trapped in a state of feeling inadequate and unable. I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve this. I can’t do what I’m supposed to do. I didn’t learn enough. I can’t speak well. (uh, HI MOSES).

But a common theme throughout all my fears and doubts and sudden realizations of reality is – God provides. He has, He is, and He will. God has called me to this life of ministry. I remember when He did and all the details that made His voice so vivid to me. He spoke His Truth into my life and guided me to seminary at just the right moment so that I could meet the man that He had planned for me. This marriage and relationship has been prayed over many many times during these 2 years; making sure that God’s will was done and that He would be glorified in us. He has been the center and continues to be.

“A cord of three stands is not easily broken.” 

He’s called us to minister together; to be an example of holiness and love.When God calls, He equips. He doesn't send us out without making sure we are properly prepared.

This life of ministry and marriage will be an adventure. I’ll learn new things that will challenge me and allow for growth in my life with Christ so that my relationship with Him may deepen. He has even already provided for me growth and knowledge as I’ve studied His Word and the details of Officership. He has increased my understanding of business and leadership and has made my heart even more compassionate for the hurting and passionate for justice. He knew my weaknesses and provided someone who balanced me out; both in my officership and in my personal life. He has provided for me a man who strives for holiness and a deep relationship with God, encouraging me to do the same; a man who loves me for who I am – even when I suffered from some of the darkest insecurities I’ve ever faced.  

While my ordination and marriage is quickly approaching, I have no fear and no doubt. The feelings of inadequacy and inability are quickly defeated by the overwhelming Truth that I belong to Christ and He reigns and has the victory. He is greater than any doubt or fear. His plan has no flaw. I am exactly where God wants me to be and with the man that God planned for me to be with. We will go where He wants us to go and love and serve in His name. He who has called us, has equipped us for His work. I may not know everything and I may make mistakes.. but I am following Christ, keeping my focus on Him. And as I start this journey, with joy and peace from my Savior, I hold on to this Truth:

                               

My God - the Almighty - is in control.

 

Assorted Gripes, Whines and Complaints.

The theme Jenny gave us is “transitions”. I asked Office Mate Andrew W. Coleman what I should write about and he suggested that I write about how I’ve changed since coming to Emporia. Pretty much he told me to write about how I’ve become a terrible-er person* over the past year and a half. I said that that was a depressing topic, but…because I'm low on other ideas, I decided to make a confession about how I am grumpy and jaded.

*For the record, Andrew didn't actually call me terrible.

So, I started my adventure in Emporia as a very happy person and was enthusiastic about the prospect of more school. Rewind, though. Since Houghton, there have been a lot of transitions.

Au Sable in the Fall.
So. Much. Gorgeous.

Transition 1: Post-Houghton Graduation.  I had a very, very, very bad summer at the camp I worked at. Won’t go into details here (I had a long paragraph explaining it…but…the summer ended with me being sad and very ill).

Transition 2:  Interning at Au sable. I got to teach little kids about cool stuff. It was a good breath-catching time for much-needed healing. Oh, the joys of nature. I left fully recovered from my summer and ready for the world. I could even start a fire with sticks! This was a big high point transition and it ultimately gave me the courage and energy to apply and go to grad school.

Transition 3: Emporia. Firstly, there was my solo-moving experience halfway across the country (let me tell you, it’s really scary to move into an apartment that you’ve never seen, to a school you’ve never visited and to a state that was only familiar from the Wizard of Oz). This was scary, but also another high point – the adventure was pretty cool, actually. I like school in general and I bounced into my first semester with a lot of pep and enthusiasm for science.

However, since then, my enthusiasm is at an all-time low and a big part of me really hates “science” now. I’ve changed a lot since my first semester and I feel like a big part of this comes from my classes and the people I interact with. Houghton’s cheesy slogans of “servant-scholar” and “a higher purpose in mind” are reeeally lame, but oddly they capture something that’s missing . It’s really frustrating being in classes that never mention a bigger picture or the idea of stewardship…I thought caring about our planet and our impact in the world kind of went hand-in-hand with biology. “Stewardship”…shouldn’t be just another lame Christian college catchphrase…it should be in all classrooms. Buuut, it’s just not here. I feel that there is a lack of respect for the organisms that we work with and no effort to apply class material to any sort of “big picture”. Don’t get me wrong – I have learned a literal crap-ton of stuff and that is amazing! Like, seriously. So much learning. Every day my brain gets exploded with so much awesome information. But you can learn cool things, and still have it be hollow and without meaning, you know?

Jar of Death

Additionally, another big bummer is that when I came here, I was super pumped to live in a place with abundant reptiles. Currently, I’m actively avoiding an excursion to Oklahoma because I know so many critters will end up dead. Finding fun stuff simply isn’t fun anymore. I initially wrote a whole blog post about this, but decided it was too whiney to post. The attitude towards collecting for class (fish, herps, insects – all dead because of me!) or for fun (we need to bring back this [insert organism here] for photographs…to prank so-and-so…because we can…etc.) makes me really sad. Biology is special because it is the science of living things. How cool is that? I feel that, as biologists, we should be the ones that have the most respect for this life…and that our professors should be the leaders demonstrating this (and that graduate students should be striving to become leaders in a similar fashion).

I'm a pretty-pretty Mudsnake. I was taken from
the wild and if I stop eating, I will be put into a jar too.

I'm a Crayfish Snake. Now I'm dead and in a jar.
For no actual reason.

I’ve also decreased in enthusiasm because I feel like I’m doing really badly at this whole grad school thing in general.

•   I’ve been the president of the Organization of Bio. Grad students for 3 semesters and haven’t managed to organize anything for the club (to be fair – I never wanted to be president in the first place…it just happened). I’m failing as a leader.
• I’ve been sloppy in my research and wish I could start over. 
•   All that stuff I mentioned above…I’ve done a terrible job at being respectfully different in my choices as a “biologist”. Instead I’ve just been mopey and bitter and sarcastic.
• My GPA is not a 4.0. I wanted perfection.
• I always mess up (badly) when I teach stuff.
•    I’ve done a bad job at keeping in touch with Tribe and other people.
• I’ve used my learning disabilities as an excuse for struggling. I know what challenges me and I know how to overcome it—excuse making is not acceptable.
• I haven’t taken advantage of all the opportunities here. I should be exploring Kansas and being thrilled at this new adventure, not moping about the absence of hills.

I am a Broad-Banded Water Snake. I was taken from the wild....
But then Andrew saved me and returned me.
Aren't I a handsome devil? 

There you have it; a long and rambling confession covering my transition from “enthusiastic student” to “I hate everything-student”.  I’ve become incredibly snippy and annoyed and jaded and cynical. I really hate this about myself, actually, so I want to make this summer full of positivity. I want to try to get back up to Enthusiastic-Maya. Emporia has a lot of fantastic things (there are more positives than negatives, actually) and I should concentrate on all of those instead of being bogged down in the few lame things…it’s just…reeeally hard sometimes.

I'm a Dark-sided Salamander for Maya's thesis.
 I will NOT ever be put into a jar. Ever.

Introduction: Joe

What’s up, everyone? I am Joe Covey, JoeCovey, Joseph Paul Covington III, or whatever I was being called at the time. I will be acting as a guest writer for this blog in an effort to provide my story of how life is outside of Houghton. This is also an effort to keep in touch with a great group of friends that I made at Houghton College.

Tribe was certainly a friend group I held near and dear to my heart throughout my junior and senior (and super-senior semester) years of college. I was brought into Tribe as an outsider by the one Chris Clark (who was my dorm neighbor) and introduced to everyone. This was difficult because before this, my ways of thinking and viewing the world were basically cemented and unmoving. I grew up in (and moved back to) a small town in northeastern Pennsylvania called Athens, where everyone has very conservative views and isn’t accustomed to different cultures/religions/beliefs. At first I found it difficult to fit in amongst this group but everyone around the dinner table knew how to accept and love anyone that was brought to them. So, Tribe made me more social and open-minded and I made some of the best friends a guy could ask for.

Being accepted into this group meant I had to pass a rigorous questionnaire filled with all sorts of extremely logical questions. I also took a Tribal placement test, and I was given the role of Bard (I believe by Jenny). I love music, writing poetry and merriment, and that title fit me well. Also, during our City-State era, I was deemed Educator, due to being an education major. I was thrilled to blend into another friend group at Houghton, and I was truly blessed to have met Chrischrischris!, Jennyyyy, Anya!, Chadwick, Jackieeeeeeee, May-UH (Maya), Gordo, K-Furmzzz (Katie), Laaaame (Lane), JosephChinn (Peace Be Upon Him), Erik teh Bealz, and Natalie Gorff, as well as many other friends of Tribe. Yes, I misspelled almost everyone's name on purpose. I am thrilled this blog will help me keep in touch with all of them.

Awesome photo of (almost) all of Tribe

 ...we're on a boat.                    

During Houghton, I was an Inclusive Childhood Education (ICE) major, with a concentration in English Language Arts. I also ended up having unexpected minors in psychology, writing and communication. I was also involved with Houghton College Shakespeare Players (acted in 8 plays out of my 9 semesters at Houghton), Allegany County Outreach, Teachers of Today and Tomorrow, Rothenbuhler Hall Leadership Council (Treasurer), and Salvation Army Student Fellowship (SASF). Needless to say I was constantly busy, juggling all of my coursework and steady jobs every semester.

During my first two years at Houghton, I was struggling spiritually. My home church had gone through a massive split and I stopped going home to visit on weekends. I did not want to be around any of the drama back home so I decided to stay at Houghton. Everyone and everything I knew and loved about my home had gone to shambles and I was angry at God for it. I still stayed in the Word and listened to church services online, but I felt pretty empty over all.

I hadn’t found a “college church” at all until I met Chris. One Sunday he told me about his church denomination, the Salvation Army, which at that point I thought was only a thrift shop and a food bank. I went one Sunday and ended up loving it. After a few weeks, I joined the Praise Band and helped out with a few other ministries. I was going on mission’s trips and having a great time serving others and getting to know awesome people. SASF uplifted me spiritually, and I even had the privilege of attending the mission’s trip to Pittsburgh in March 2011 and in Ortley Beach, NJ in February/March of 2013 as an alumnus. I gained more of a servant’s heart and attitude during my years with this group, and I strive to complete acts of service in my daily life.

2010 Mission Trip to Philadelphia with SASF

                 NAPKIN ART WITH JENNY!

I have many favorite moments of Tribe, including mealtimes (mainly dinners and expeditions to China Star), the Battle Royales/Brawls, learning NOT to touch Jackie’s nose, making episodes of Wilson and Jeneen, making “napkin art” with Jenny, celebrating my 21^st, 22^nd and 23^rd birthdays, moments on SASF trips (Jackie’n’Joey show, taking NYC by storm, the Philly trip, constant laughter until 2 or 3 am, BAJA BLAST, etc.), hugging Gordon, many trips to the Jube/DG (where we often dumpster dove), trips to Charcoal Corral and the drive-in movies, MAYTERMS, agreeing that Natalie’s people have, in fact, suffered enough, Chad’s hips never lying, stubbythumbs, May-UH’s gray cake, creating my own personal FAILblogs, picking up stranded Tribe members in the middle of the night halfway home from Buffalo (where Chris showed me the ring he was going to use to propose to Jenny), driving the “getaway car” when we decided to prank someone, making the long trip to see Natalie get married and officially become a Gorff, swinging on the swings and random dance parties with Katie, a few fourthmeal Taco Bell runs with Katie, making videos for Erik’s classes (the Maya and Lane one was my favorite), many good talks with JosephChinn (Peace Be Upon Him), dinners in the Tribe flat (Jenny’s AWESOME chili), and SO much more that I could write down. I am sitting here tearing up thinking about these amazing years of my life, and also hearing echoes of Jackie and Maya calling me a pansy for getting all teary-eyed and pinching/poking/punching/kicking me in the shins. Anywho…

                                                                                    PARTY @ LAMBEIN!

After Houghton I went through many life changes. Since I was a December graduate, I spent the next semester being a substitute teacher searching for a full-time teaching job. I found one for the 2011-2012 school year at a small, private Christian school in the county I lived. It was one of the roughest experiences of my life being around supposed “Christian” people who acted out and enjoyed causing stress in people’s lives. It was not what I envisioned a Christian school to be, and I quickly learned that some Christian schools ended up being worse than public schools. I ended up staying there for two school years.

During my two years at this Christian school, I noticed changes in myself emotionally. After completely falling apart during April/May of 2013 (a few months after seeing the devastation in Ortley Beach, NJ—what triggered it all), I had been given the label of having bipolar disorder. I had seen patterns of it all throughout my adolescent years in high school and in college as well, and I guess I had just been fighting it the whole time. I have declined medication and I have found natural ways of handling these ups and downs. I have turned to God more and have used music as my release. I have taught myself to play piano and I have been playing every Sunday morning at my home church leading others in worship. I have also turned to walking and running and have been working on losing all the college weight (blah) to get back down to where I was physically in high school. My friends and my family have been supportive of me during this time and I have been working through the tough times one step at a time.

I am currently working three jobs, from 8-5 every day with weekends off. I am a reading teacher in the morning at my hometown school district (a public school, where I am certainly called to be), a private one-on-one tutor for a kid with high-functioning autism from 1-3 in the afternoon and then I work at a daycare from 3-5 to round out my day. I am involved in my church choir and worship teams and practice almost every evening for these ministries. I am blessed with a lot of teaching and musical experience and I hope this plays to my advantage in the coming years.

Since leaving Houghton, I have also received my M.Ed. in Curriculum and Instruction: Elementary Reading from Grand Canyon University online. I attended this program from June 2011 to November 2012. I finished with high honors (a 4.0 GPA) and induction into Phi Lambda Theta Honors Society for Educators. I am currently seeking a full-time teaching position and I am willing to relocate to teach.

Other than rambling and reminiscing, I will most likely contribute discussion on topics such as education and music to this blog. I could also contribute editorial-like writings with some humorous anecdotes thrown in here and there. I am looking forward to being a contributor to this online community and keeping in touch with all members of Tribe!

Alas... the future of Tribe. Well, more than half of us...