Doing the Most Good Behind the Scenes

As Jackie said last week, "Ah!  I'm late writing this!"  Part of the reason I'm late writing my blog post is that I work for the Salvation Army, and this is the dreaded holiday season.  It's understandable why life is crazy in the Salvation Army.  Between kettles, toy distributions, advent, and Christmas meals and baskets everyone is working harder than ever (except youth worker people; they're craziest during camp/day camp season).  But I don't work standing kettles or distributing toys.  I work in the exciting Direct Mail department doing the super fun job of data entry!

That's right, I get the privilege of entering in all the donations that the bank can't automatically scan or that don't automatically upload from one system to another.  I also read all of the notes donor's send in with their donations.  I do a few other things as part of my job, like run reports, but data entry and reading donor's notes is the majority of my work.  The Salvation Army, like many other non-profits, gets most of its donations at Christmas time, so that my workload during the Christmas season at least doubles and often triples. 

There are also a lot more notes from donors during the Christmas season, and I read them all, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  There's a surprising amount of ugly.  Sometimes people who write in to the Salvation Army, and I feel that this is probably the case for most non-profits, are angry.  They might be angry about something they personally experienced, something they read about on the internet, or just angry without an explanation.  As a result, I get cussed out and yelled at through text almost every day at work throughout the Christmas season.  It can be really exhausting to deal with so much negativity when I'm already stressed out and over-worked.  It can also be really hard to focus on advent and hope and peace and joy when I see so much hate and anger every day.

But there's also a lot of good donor's notes.  Really really good donor's notes.  It's one of the perks of my job to get to read these ones.  I get positive notes every day during the Christmas season from World War II veterans who remember the Salvation Army donut girls bringing them free coffee and donuts in the trenches.  I get notes from people whom the Salvation Army has helped during a crisis point in their lives.  I get notes from people who remember bright happy Christmases, only made possible by donations from the Salvation Army.  And I get lots of notes just saying "Thank you for your good work."  These notes make my day.  They encourage me.  They help me get through the crazy Christmas season, and actually try to enjoy it. 

So, I guess I would like to give you two main take-away points:



1.  Don't write angry notes to non-profits.  You might think you're "sticking it to the man" by writing these, but you're probably just sticking it to the 23-year-old working part-time trying to pay off her student loans.  It's not nice, and it's not really making the impact you want it to.  If you do have legitimate concerns, express them calmly and politely.  People are a lot more likely to listen that way.  It's also helpful to try and find the right people before you start expressing your opinions.  If you express your opinions calmly and politely, you can make a difference.

2.  Do write thank you notes to everyone who's part of a non-profit.  Like I said before, kind notes from donor's make my day.  I don't think people know how much of an impact they can make with a few simple words.  Someone is reading those letters you send in to your local non-profits, and it's amazingly encouraging when you tell that someone you're grateful for what they're doing.  Also, try and thank the people who aren't as visible, the ones who aren't necessarily on the front lines.  Thank the finance department at your favorite non-profit.  Thank the church secretary or treasurer.  Thank the person who's in the kitchen washing dishes at the community meal.  Thank the people who are visibly doing the most good, but don't forget the ones behind the scenes.  Their work is just as essential in spreading joy and peace and hope during Christmas, and they're often the least thanked.  So go on!  Make someone's day!  It's probably a lot easier than you think.
 

Family 'n stuff

A suggested theme for this round of posts is "holidays" because we all mostly are posting during the holiday season. I recently completed an self-disciple-exercise called "No-Spend-November" to help myself become aware of my own consumerism (no, I don't NEED to buy coffee every other day). It was a good time and in light of Black Friday, I have a lot to say about this...but instead, I'm changing tracks. I want to talk about all these holidays and the idea of family. Awww...how cute....and rather corny (you've been warned).

So...recently, we had my FAVORITE holiday...Halloween...and then my second favorite holiday; Thanksgiving. Both were good fun. I got to teach about detrital energy sources while wearing a pirate costume for the former, and eat pumpkin soup for the later....and for both, I got to hang out with two really cool people named Andrew and Emma (they're both pretty much walking vats of knowledge ...and we're in an almond-themed cult together).

The next holiday to come is Christmas. I've never liked Christmas that much, really. It's this happy time of year for family traditions and overall joy, right? Well...post-Halloween, the holidays shift from being spooky-fun to an emphasis on this idea of "family" and that is the part I was never too comfortable with.

Growing up, I went through weird different permutations of "family". Throughout most of my life, my family consisted of my Mom, my Stepdad, my Step Brother, my Step Sister (both of which are half siblings of each other, each have a few other siblings - just to make it more complicated), for some time a Dad....and occasionally a Stepmom who didn't really speak English....and sometimes I went and stayed with a completely different family altogether. Christmas was a time of "who-got-which-step-sibling", and with so many parents thrown in the mix, it was always a jumble....with a lot of tension and the pressure to put on a happy face. I didn't like it.

This is Devon, my Step Brother and Mandi my Step Sister. We continued sharing Christmas together for some time and I'm just as thankful for them as I am everyone else mentioned...

When I graduated high school, my weird concoction of "family" literally dissolved in a divorce. I jumped from  this scenario into Houghton (technically I hobbled---my foot was broken at the time). As you can see by this blog, I made the very best of friends there...and over the four years, I've gained the very best of family through these people. They have shown me everything about being supportive and kind, generous and share-y...and of course a lot about faithy-stuff (did you know that K-Tunez is the Tribal Chaplin....Chappy).

This is my Mommy

Last Christmas, was the first Christmas of just me and my Mom....all by ourselves because this is what was left from our situation. It was peaceful and wonderful, but she made the observation that we were our only family - it was just us. Her and me....and the morbidly obese cats and a deaf chihuahua mutt. But then she said that we had both been able to craft our own families out of our friends and that was way better than anything we could possibly have had otherwise.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving....and in the reference to the family-ness of Christmas, I'd like to give thanks for my very-very special and perfect Family.
I'm thankful for my wonderful....and kind of weird....Mom, who I am so fortunate to have (I get to go home for this Christmas too!!! Yay, New York!).

I am thankful for my first roomie and closest-to-a-sisterly-thing Jackie...for my other Amazon Sistas; Anya, Jenny, K-Tunez and 9-Fingered Lane. For Tribe Brother Chris.....and all the other Tribespeople who will be guest-blogging  in the posts to come. I'm thankful for how each of them is passionate about the world we live in and how they inspire me to be a better person.

...and I'm thankful for their
forgiveness when I
steal the brownie mix.

I'm thankful for their patience for when I'm frustrated or obnoxious...I'm thankful for when I log into facebook and have a constant stream of reminders of how cool they are. I'm thankful that I can send them a whining message and get responses brimming with hilarity and support. I'm thankful that they like me for being me, when most people think I'm a bit strange. Below is a link to a video-hodge-podge of Guruji Sri Vast ("an enlightened spiritual master from South India" - I'm not sure what that is, but he has something good to say here) discussing family. Some of the video clips used it in are a bit corny and unnecessary, but I like the part where he says: 

                                "What is family? 
                                                       Love and acceptance. 
                                                      Where I can be, as I am. 
                                                    Where I am not judged. 
                                                       And that is the family."


Also, I'm thankful that my family keeps growing....remember Andrew and Emma from the beginning of this post? Our Thanksgiving feast was lovely and delicious (Emma somehow manages to be both 100% Snake Conjurer and 100% Chef). I'm thankful they both let me stumble into their lives and that they put up with my shenanigans.

This is Andrew and Emma.
They're both opposed to have pictures taken of themselves.
The big plant in the foreground is a sunflower...because Kansas is the Sunflower State!

And so...I'd like to conclude with the point that your family isn't just who biology or marriage brought into your life, but who you choose to build friendships with.

Your family is probably bigger than you realized.

That's all I really have to say. My family is fantastic and I love you all lots and lots. And now...time to cram for finals exams. Boo. Finals are not included in my family. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3tKh1olYRI

Adulthood: When Everything is Easier, Right?

Do you remember being a teenager? Your life constantly in flux while your mind is overloaded with more emotions than you can process, riddled with insecurities and a deep unshakable loneliness. Making friends is a confusing if not impossible process full of popularity contests and friendship killing landmines awaiting each misstep. You are torn between a host of conflicting expectations telling you who to be as you try to nail down just what your identity actually is.

And through it all someone tells you "This isn't forever. Someday you will grow up and get past this."

I am the real Chris here

I'm a grown-up now. A fell-fledged adult. I have a wife, a job, and even an apartment with renter's insurance. I have a college degree. I pay bills and I punch a time clock. So how come I still feel kind of like a teenager? I thought this was supposed to get better, right? Why do I still have all this insecurity and loneliness?

I think the hardest part for me about being away from Tribe is just the overall loneliness of it. I'm completely lacking in peers. The irony is that though I am alone I know I am not alone in my loneliness. I know I'm not the only one having trouble making friends or the only one wishing for more people to spend time with. One of my friends said pretty much everything I'm feeling a year ago, I'm just not as good at putting it into words.

What really frustrates me is that I really thought that things were going to get easier at some point. I thought I would begin to feel secure and self-assured. I thought I would reach a point where even if I didn't have friends I would be okay with that. I thought once I became an adult I would be stronger than this.

But I'm not.

I'm sad and I'm lonely and I'm very insecure. I don't feel like an adult at all. Or more specifically, I don't feel like what I thought adulthood would feel like.

Well, if I have to

But what can I do to make it better? To be honest I really don't know. I've given this a lot of thought and read some articles but I think I'm just at the point where I have to suck it up and just hold out for better times.

I'd like to think that I'm actually in a second "teen" stage. When I was a teenager I was too old to make friends easily or feel confident and good about myself, but I was too young to go out and find find peers easily or know how to present myself. I was in an awkward middle stage. Now I think I'm in that place again. I'm too old to just be a college kid and goof off and fit in with a bunch of 18 year olds, but I'm too young to have "adult" friends or know how to cultivate "adult" friendships.

For the time being I'm just stuck.

I'd love to drop some epic wisdom at the end of this post, but I really don't have any to give. This is where I'm at right now and I guess I just miss Tribe. In lieu of wisdom I ask you to accept this gif about the things I'd like to do with my adult friends now that I'm all grown up.

We made a spaceship once

Introduction: Katie

As I try to think of a clever way to introduce myself, I'm always brought back to, “Hollerbread, I’m Kfurmz.” 

My name is Katie. I joined Tribe a tad later than the rest of the founding members. I was brought into it through my roommate at the time, Jackie; and I was scared that no one would like me. But Tribe welcomed me in their warm Tribal way and soon, I gained a new perspective on life through our conversations.

Tribe taught me a lot of things. They opened my eyes to the world around me, to different perspectives of philosophy and the church, and to the cookbook that is Jennifer Clark. I went into college thinking I knew everything about life but really knowing nothing (as all popular kids in high school do, right?). And I praise the Lord that He brought these wonderful, crazy people to me to help me through it, along with a lot of battles I had to face in my short time at school.

               

Post-college was rough at first but now that I’m in the place where God has called me to be for the time being, things have gotten better. I’m currently in my 2^nd and final year at The Salvation Army’s College for Officer’s Training. In June 2014 (7 months away! YAY!), I’ll be commissioned and ordained as an Officer (minister) in The Salvation Army, receiving the rank of Lieutenant.  And just 3 days after this grand event, I’ll be marrying the love of my life and my best friend, Jeremiah. He is a godly man who is my helper, can make me laugh at any given moment, my spiritual leader, my beard-wanting/book-loving/coffee drinking/lover of folk music/deep-thinking/owner of portable record player/German/loving/compassionate hipster, and “the one whom my soul loves” (Solomon 3:4). God has blessed me more than I could ever have imagined. 

Jeremiah has only met one person from Tribe (Chris) but he has heard many a story and is anxious to meet them. Whether it’s a good anxious or a bad anxious, I don’t know, but…. ;)
 

Besides being a fiancé to the greatest man I’ve ever met, I enjoy iced Chai Lattes with 2 pumps of gingerbread, hayrides, apple picking, acting, babysitting, dancing [in my room], I Love Lucy, comedy, the wind, camp, the smell of Kohl’s, the beach, ministry, and much more. But most importantly, I love spending time with my Savior in our meeting place. To sit down and spend time in conversation with Him, reading His Word or devotional books or even listening to worship music, brings peace and joy. 

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t have intellectual thoughts. I was never much of a student because it takes everything in me to try to learn. So I can’t promise you big words, inputs on world issues, etc. But what I can promise you are thoughts that I have, things that I struggle with, and simplicity; because I think I'm a pretty simple person, for the most part. So I hope and pray that when my posts come up, you’ll go into it with an open heart and take what you can from it.

And now..."May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." - Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Introduction: Anya

Hi…. My name is Anya (“Hi, Anya”) and I’m a serial, non-committal blogger.  But! I’m going to try again with the help of my best friends. Maybe there’s something to this whole thing, and even if for any of the million reasons I never get past writing the third post, my friends will still be here posting…   …which makes us a community.

Anyway, my name is Anya and I’m part of Tribe.  I know this whole thing happened during our first year at Houghton, but I can’t remember the exact circumstances.  It probably had something to do with taking Cultural Anthropology and Gordon talking about the Native American burial ground Houghton is [said to be] built upon.  Whatever the circumstances, the arrangement stuck and I ended up being best friends with some of the strangest, best people I have ever met.

Unfortunately, part of college is graduating, which as Maya reflected one time, is like “being ejected into a cold, unfamiliar, [expensive] world and never being allowed to return.”  So now we all live in different places (except Chris and Jenny because they got married) far away from each other and we’re using the internet and …blogosphere (is that a word?) to try to stay connected.

Besides finding opportunities to reunite with my friends, I spend my time being married to my wonderful husband, working at a fabric shop, entertaining our surprise kitten (seriously, I had no idea kittens need so much playtime), trying to grow window herbs, and enjoying the Hudson Valley.  I am interested in agriculture and gardening, religion, culture, human and environmental interaction, community development, and learning how to be a Christian that takes Jesus seriously.

I will probably write about some upsetting topics that are on my mind, in the news, or things I would discuss with my Tribe friends but I want to try to do that in a way that also looks at small examples that offer hope.  I’ve found that sometimes the best way to bear the frustration of the overwhelming problems in the world is to look at the little things that are present and good.



Editorial note: You will notice this was published by Chris due to Anya's lack of internet access. I promise this was written by Anya, though, and is not part of some attempt by Chris to take over Anya's life and steal her kitten. --Chris