Holy Transition!

Awwww, snizzle snap, a play on words!!

Okay I’ll stop now.

                                    

The remainder of this week and the beginning of next week holds some of the biggest days of my life.

On Sunday morning (June 8, 2014), I will be ordained as a minister in The Salvation Army, receiving the rank of Lieutenant. On Sunday afternoon, I will be receiving my first appointment, with my best friend by my side …and an estimated 3,000 people in the audience. Yes, you read that correctly. I’ll be finding out where my new home and new church is at the same time the rest of the territory finds out.

                Then just 3 days later, on a cool Wednesday afternoon, I will be leaving my family name behind as I am joined as one with my best friend.

 (Lieutenant) Mrs. Katie Eisley will be my new norm. I’ll no longer be able to sleep like a starfish and I’ll have to start being considerate when getting ready in the morning (i.e. – not taking forever in the bathroom when doing my hair and makeup). 

 WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Wait a second.

What happened to this?   

And this??

And this?!

Actually, we can forget about that one...

But what happened? I know moms and dads say it all the time, but I legitimately want to know; where did the time go? Living a life of being a kid is all I’ve ever known. I’ve always lived life as a… “dependent”, if you want to put it in terms of health insurance or taxes.

Very shortly, I’m leaving the life that I know – the one I’ve always known – and starting over with a completely different role. While I’ll always be a daughter - someone’s kid – I’m leaving that childhood and semi-adulthood behind and, literally in the blink of an eye, am becoming an adult. In just a matter of days, I’ll be a leader of a church. I’ll have a congregation and community. It won’t fall under my parent’s authority and leadership, with me just along for the ride. But it’ll be mine and my then husband’s responsibility; a responsibility that is never taken lightly.  I’ll have all the keys to the building. I’ll be doing the home visitations. I’ll be preaching the sermons. I’ll be the one who has to take phone calls. I’ll be the one that will answer to those who oppose us and be there for those who are searching and have questions. Not my parents. Not my pastors. Me.

Thankfully I won’t be by myself for all of this and I’ll be able to share the work. I’ll go to my appointment with my husband. HUSBAND.

 

I never EVER thought I’d ever be married. I always wanted to be married but I just never thought of it as a reality. (It comes from years of insecurities and is a story for another day). 

While I’m incredibly excited and I wish it would just happen already, there are realizations that I’ve had that I can’t wrap my mind around:

1)      My kids will never know me as Kfurmz. They’ll never know what it means or all that it entails.

2)      I can’t listen to rap while I get ready in the morning.

a.       Heck, I’ll barely get to listen to rap at all! Jeremiah’s more of an NPR kinda guy.

3)      Judgment for how I drink milk will happen again. (Maya).

4)      I can’t eat just cereal and sandwiches. Because I’ll be caring for another person.

5)      The amount of laundry will double.

These are all small, petty things that I’ll learn to deal with, as sacrifice and new things come about in marriage. But… even the sentence “I, Katie Furman, will be married in just a few days” is so surreal.

And while these two big events are happening so soon and right after one another, fear and doubt fill my mind and heart and I easily become trapped in a state of feeling inadequate and unable. I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve this. I can’t do what I’m supposed to do. I didn’t learn enough. I can’t speak well. (uh, HI MOSES).

But a common theme throughout all my fears and doubts and sudden realizations of reality is – God provides. He has, He is, and He will. God has called me to this life of ministry. I remember when He did and all the details that made His voice so vivid to me. He spoke His Truth into my life and guided me to seminary at just the right moment so that I could meet the man that He had planned for me. This marriage and relationship has been prayed over many many times during these 2 years; making sure that God’s will was done and that He would be glorified in us. He has been the center and continues to be.

“A cord of three stands is not easily broken.” 

He’s called us to minister together; to be an example of holiness and love.When God calls, He equips. He doesn't send us out without making sure we are properly prepared.

This life of ministry and marriage will be an adventure. I’ll learn new things that will challenge me and allow for growth in my life with Christ so that my relationship with Him may deepen. He has even already provided for me growth and knowledge as I’ve studied His Word and the details of Officership. He has increased my understanding of business and leadership and has made my heart even more compassionate for the hurting and passionate for justice. He knew my weaknesses and provided someone who balanced me out; both in my officership and in my personal life. He has provided for me a man who strives for holiness and a deep relationship with God, encouraging me to do the same; a man who loves me for who I am – even when I suffered from some of the darkest insecurities I’ve ever faced.  

While my ordination and marriage is quickly approaching, I have no fear and no doubt. The feelings of inadequacy and inability are quickly defeated by the overwhelming Truth that I belong to Christ and He reigns and has the victory. He is greater than any doubt or fear. His plan has no flaw. I am exactly where God wants me to be and with the man that God planned for me to be with. We will go where He wants us to go and love and serve in His name. He who has called us, has equipped us for His work. I may not know everything and I may make mistakes.. but I am following Christ, keeping my focus on Him. And as I start this journey, with joy and peace from my Savior, I hold on to this Truth:

                               

My God - the Almighty - is in control.